You Were Made for More Than Either Option on the Table

You feel a churning inside of you that you haven’t quite figured out. You feel a little misunderstood and a little boxed in. You love your family, but you are restless as a mom with being “just” a stay-at-home mom.

Culter tells you that you have two paths to choose:

• You are a career-driven 9-to-5’er.
• Or you are an apron-wearing, DIY’re, crafting trad wife who is consumed by her kids. 

Neither of those feels like the path you were created to be on.

If you are nodding your head, saying, “That’s me!” Then grab your cup of coffee and curl up in your favorite chair. Because you are in good company, and I am right there with you.

When my husband and I started dating, I warned him early on that I could not be like both of our moms where. They focused on their kids and homeschooled all of them. For some, that is what they feel called to do. Great, do that. But for me, I would be a restless tigar feeling like I was not living up to my potential. I am building both.

Before I get into what to do with those feelings, I want you to hear this. This feeling of being restless as a mom is something so many women are dealing with. You are not the only one.

You don’t have to be understood or have other people’s approval.

We live in a world that is so confused about almost every aspect of life. 

Don’t feel like you have to explain what you do or your reasoning behind it. You don’t have to get a head nod in understanding to be validated. 

You simply have to know what your life goals are and YOUR reasons behind what you do. Those are what you have to hold on to even if you THINK you are the only person in the room.

Point 1 – Why the Driven Woman Feels Boxed In

I believe the reason why we have seen such a rise in homesteading in the last several years is that it’s the closest thing to a modern version of a driven woman’s internal desire to create income, food, and resources for our families. 

Women have this deep desire to create resources, both in income and sustainable resources like food and clothing for their families, but we are not in a world that supports that anymore. 

We are told we have two choices. 

• Career and climb the ladder.
• Or be a stay-at-home mom and have lots of babies.

If you pull the women out of the home, then the cornerstone and heart of culture fails. 

But I also believe that if you remove her vision and drive to reach bigger goals, and her ability to build. Her drive also fades. Ending in the same result. 

Since the beginning of time, women were not the stay-at-home, have babies, and do the laundry type of role that the far right would have us believe. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, if you are content nurturing your home and there is nothing inside of you that has a desire to do more than you do you. 

But women staying home and letting the kids be their main focus is not biblical. We are called to a much higher standard than that.

Women were also not wired to completely leave their families for long periods of time either. We need men to build a relationship with and a family to manage, nurture, and protect.

There is a middle path that no one sees. One that brings both roles together using both sides of the paths given to us and building our own. The skillsets of management, income generation, and nurturing a home to create a safe space for your family to land. 

If you stick around, I want to help you build your middle lane down career driven 9-5er and stay-at-home trad wife.

Into something so empowering and soul-filling you won’t even beleave its possible.

Answer This: If you were not worried about what anyone thought, and nothing could stop you. What would your dream lifestyle situation look like in 3 years?

For those of you who want to understand where I believe this desire actually comes from, I want to share something that changed how I see myself.

Point 2 – Women are wired to help create resources for the family. 

You may not be a faith-based person, and that’s ok. But for me, that is where I find that everything becomes clear, and my soul is most at peace when I am listening to my creator and following his plan.

Which results in a much better outcome than the one culture tries to tell me is the right answer.

I just ask you to listen with an open heart, and you can take what I say here and think about it (hopefully apply it) or leave it on the table.

For context, Proverbs 31 is a chapter in the bible that begins with a mom telling her son, a king, what to look for in a wife. 

If you have ever felt like you are “stepping out of place,” but there is a fire in your soul to be more than you are right now. Go read the full chapter.

But for the sake of time. These are some of the key verses that I go back to when I start to doubt myself or what I am working towards. 

These are all from the KJV version.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

Hello gardeners and DIY’ers. This is you. She is well put together but is willing to get down and dirty to get the job done. She isn’t “above” doing a certain job.

14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

I don’t think we have to travel far to get our food, but I think it’s important to note that she does what she has to get the resources for her family. And will bring it from wherever she finds what her family needs. While still being logical about the cost to bring it back. 

For example, she doesn’t spend $50 in gas to save $40 on groceries.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

Now we don’t have servants anymore. But If you are the type who likes to get up early and get things done before the kiddos are up or create your plan for the day in peace… THIS is you. 

The morning can be the perfect time for managing our home and assessing what needs to happen in this new day.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

If you love business and creating monetary growth for your family. THIS is your space. She bought a field and put it to work. She didn’t buy something and let it sit as a status symbol she bought it for an income stream and a way to grow resources for her family.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

There are so many angles you could look at this verse, and I don’t think we are doing the verse a disservice by doing so. 

Perspective 1: You should be creating good-quality products. But also purchasing what you can afford that is still the best choice, and of a quality product for your money. Don’t be wasteful.

Perspective 2: You are also a hard worker and don’t quit before the job is done, just because it’s late.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

She plans ahead for the coming seasons and is prepared for the hard times. 

Creates savings, thinks ahead to what is coming. Don’t just go through life letting it happen to you.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

Once again, she is creating a product and selling it. We are created to create profit centers for our families.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

She is a manager of her home and makes sure that things are just as they should be. We are wired to want to make sure things are running well.

Question to Answer: What verse feels like the missing peive you have been wanting to build in your life? 

I find it interesting that everything women crave today is exactly what the bible calls them to, but it is the first thing that gets dismissed. 

Now, maybe you are a little hesitant to believe the verses I just shared with you, but think about this. Most people have heard of Adam and Eve. They were the first man and woman on the earth. 

The very first thing Eve was doing was collecting food. Once the world developed and there was a need for money or a way to exchange resources, creating income streams became a necessity.

This desire for women to create resources isn’t new. It’s been a part of us since the beginning of time. We have just lost sight of it.

Point 3 – Finding Your Starting Point

Knowing you were made for more is one thing. Figuring out what to do with it is another.

Before you start researching business ideas or scrolling through side hustle lists, I want you to sit with one honest question first.

What does your family actually need right now?

For some, the answer is urgent. There is debt. There is financial pressure. There is a gap between what comes in and what goes out that is causing real stress. 

If that is where you are, the goal is not fulfillment first. It is stability first. That might mean getting a part-time job while you figure out the longer game. It might mean cutting the spending down before you try to bring more in. There is no shame in that. It is the honest starting point.

For others, the finances are manageable, but something inside you is still restless. 

The bills are getting paid but you feel like you want to add more to it. Or just not feel like a leech. Come on, let’s be real, decent human beings don’t want to be a burden to someone. 

If that is you, the income path you can take looks different. It does not have to be big. Infect I would recommend it start small. Test things out and get a taste of what that life is like.

• It might be flipping a few things on Facebook Marketplace to see if you enjoy the process. 
• It might be taking one skill you already have and finding one person who will pay you for it. 
• It might be making something and testing whether anyone will buy it before you build anything more.

Neither starting point is better than the other. They just require different first moves. 

Know Your Capacity

Once you know what you actually need, the next question is time. And here is where I want you to be ruthlessly honest with yourself.

Some moms have more time available than they think. (Don’t get mad at me here) It is just not in obvious places. Before you tell yourself you have no time, look at where it is actually going.

• Are your kids demanding your constant attention because they have never been given the chance to learn to entertain themselves? 
• Are you saying yes to other people’s needs while your own family’s financial stability sits on the back burner? 
• Are there time wasters in your day that you have been quietly allowing because stopping them feels uncomfortable?

You do not have to find ten hours a week. You might only need three or four. But they have to be solid hours that you actually protect and show up for, not the ones you plan to use after everything else is done.

The right income path for you is the one that fits what your family genuinely needs, uses something you are already capable of, and can be built in the real time you have available. 

Not the ideal time. The actual time. Not someone else’s definition of a “real business.”

If you want to go deeper on finding the right path, I have a full breakdown of five flexible income streams right here. – 5 Most Flexible Jobs For Moms: Income Paths That Give You More Control

I have given you a lot to think about today. Sit with this, see where it leads you. Remember that you don’t have to find the world’s approval to chase your goals. 

Build your own path down the middle of career-driven 9-5’er and stay at home trad wife.

You might find it to be the most fulfilling you have ever felt. And if you don’t. It’s not permanent. You can always change it. 

If this resonated and you are ready to start figuring out what your middle lane actually looks like, the Flexible Business Starter Kit is a free resource that helps you figure out the first steps to business and how to build one that fits your current season. Grab it here.